"hope you had a good break, alright peace out 4eva"

I like to think that everything is balanced. There is something to balance everything else. For every good thing, there is a bad thing, for something very pleasant, there is something very horrible. For each beginning, an end etc. etc. etc. i am soooo cliche and i don't care because it makes sense to me and that's my philosophy. eat it.

Greg is quitting his job as head diving coach at the University of Missouri. He has been my coach since i've been in college and has decided to move on. He will be taking up a position coaching the club team in Midland, TX that will pay him twice as much as he is making now. He will also have the opportunity to coach potential olympic divers down there, which is a major goal of his. Jaime, the assistant dive coach (he was a senior when i was a freshman, so i know him very well) will be taking over as interim head dive coach for all of next semester. Greg will be leaving after finals and before xmas.

This came as a huge shock to all of us. ALL OF US. He might have mentioned it to Jaime a few times as a possibility, but he had not made the final decision until recently. As close as our team is, i can't help but feel a bit betrayed or misled. He was a major major reason why i wanted to come to mizzou, and of course the main reason i've stayed in school. He was in charge of organizing my study hall hours, maintaining my growth as a student-athlete and basically turning me into a really good diver.
And now he's leaving.
In 3 weeks.
And it won't be the same.

To contrast (and balance) the post thus far, i have also made a new relationship with Jessica (aka-ze jessy, ze Shark, zippy). To quote the facebook directly, i am "in a relationship with Jessica Kempf". The facebook only knows a fraction of my happiness by observing the countless times we have "poked" each other(that sounds very naughty(i'm leaving it in anyway)). For my readers who have not heard of her yet from me, she's a freshman at mizzou from st. louis and she is very pretty, smart, funny, goofy, and interesting beyond words. I like her :D and she likes me :D :D

But enough gooey shark talk. My balance is losing a coach and gaining a girlfriend. There. I've justified my philosophy so now all of you have to agree with it. And the title is what Aaron and i have been saying to laugh about the situation. We come back from break and he says "alright, glad you all came back BECAUSE I'M LEAVIN'! SUCKAS!" which is funny but yeah, we are still kind of hurt and sad. But don't tell anyone, it's a secret.

I am grinning like a MOFO over hurr

hehe
i am too tired to say anything more than this:

"Too much of a good thing can be wonderful."

i am not creative, i am exhausted. zee shark wore me out ;-)

so does this mean time doesn't apply to me?

My watch broke. *sad face* I have two other watches that i got for free from diving so it's no big deal. But i've had that watch for almost exactly 2 years. (i got in on my birthday from mom and pop) It was an ok watch.. it didn't have the date on it which i always found annoying, and i put a huge scratch on it a few weeks after getting it, and the metal chinks on the wristband would pull the hair on my wrist out...and that hurt... i guess i'll be ok without it, but it was a good watch.

RIP blue watch with scratch and no date

I shall edit this post later, or just add to it later. why later? i have to go to class, that's why

That was Monday...sorry

Teffy is right in commenting on that last post. Most of that stuff isn't true...but at the time it sure felt true. Anyways, i'm happy to say that i'm doing much better than...monday...and i had a sobe this morning. I haven't had a sobe during the week for a long time, i usually only drink one at a meet or something but having one in the morning makes me feel muy bueno.

not naming any names, i DO have prospects on the horizon. plural? who knows. i DO KNOW THAT I PLAYED HALO 2!!!!!!! BLWAHAHSHTYAINKSNDF!!!!!!!!1111111 I love being alive.

but i hate not having any money whatsoever.

i have a new cd player and need a way to burn my music fromt he computer onto a cd-rw or something...i think an external burner could work, maybe if i could just borrow it from someone...? DOES ANYONE HAVE ONE?!

I just noticed that my sobe bottle isn't really emptying...every time i take a drink it doesn't look like i've drank anything at all.
IT DID IT AGAIN! kick ass! unlimited sobe!

I'm going to have a really long week before leaving for this meet next Thursday, i have two tests to make up before leaving, and tomorrow i'm supposed to have my paper revised....and i can't find it....shit. i'll get it done, i'm determined! and DEDICATED! and d...um....DEAD SEXY!!!1

Mondayne-ed

It has been only 20 minutes since i took my pill this morning and already i feel a huge wave of remorse, of guilt, of regret, loneliness, and doubt. Yes, my medication is kicking in this Monday, and no, it has nothing to do with what i did this weekend, and no it has nothing to do with anything else in my life besides the actual fact that i am lonely.

Enjoying a big win that our team had this weekend, i somehow felt disengaged from a normal existence. I broke my own school record and the pool record on 3 meter with 6 dives: final score 385. I dove really well and it was a blast diving so well at a home meet in front of everyone. :D

But then again, i return to a blazingly horribly boring sunday and a monday morning akin to a confessional/psychiatrist couch. I've found myself thinking of the following things:

• How i wasn't a very good friend to David White because, well...i could have been a better friend. (ps i miss hanging out with him too)
• Every girl is playing defence with me because they think i just want to "get with them". I therefore have no reason to talk to any girls ever because none of them want to talk to me.
• I have major problems involving my car insurance, repairs towards my car, and i don't like living with joe. But only one more month of him, not too bad.
• I give up on important things....not really give up, more like don't start.
• No matter how many times everyone tries to tell me otherwise, i still feel like a greasy, corny, stupid idiot when i talk to a girl. I am an idiot, but the other things bother me too.

Ok so maybe some of those are crap, but that's how i feel right now. Thanks medication, you make the world taste better! Thanks for nothing, school is bullshit compared to the rest of my miserable existence. I would rather be failing and have my head on strait.

I have returned to stuck. Stuck.

Yes this is the title. And yes, I like it.

New layout, bitches.
Cope.
I miss the green as much as everyone else and i know i'll probably kill something before i get it back but now it's gone forever and i can't change it back so suck on this layout for a while.....
....
I miss my old one i want it back.

NO! I MUST MOVE ON! And continue onto a post-worthy posting....shutup evan

Kendra signed and will defanitely be here next year. I'm very excited. I'm already looking forward to hanging out with her again. I'm meeting lots of people on the facebook, which is strange because it seems like everybody wants to be connected to as many people as possible. It's like a phenomena or something....yeah phenomenal.
so here's the link, noobs: Facebook me!

change

i'm changing the layout of the blog.
no it's not up for discussion because nobody really discusses it anyway...except for a few of you, thanks, i like the green too

BUT THERE ARE OTHER GREENS! so i'm going to fiddle with it and find something new because i miss my old blog that i wrote in...as opposed to this one that i just put crap into...seirously my life is too boring to be documented.

SO HERE IS A POST WRITTEN FOR SOMEONE WHO WILL NEVER READ IT

Before i know it it's morning and i haven't held your face long enough to kiss it.
I will miss your laugh and hugs but can't force myself to remember
why you let me hold your hand
why you laid next to me all night
why you smiled when i hugged you goodbye and you put your cheek on my shoulder

what is there left in me to see? i told you what you needed to know
i'm desperately lonely and pathetically alone. every minute of my time is wasted and you're wasting yours by keeping your arm around me.
stop liking me so much, i'll like you back
and i know i'll like you back

weeks later she's gone
weeks alone without a word from her
this week the worst, i don't know why
i miss the kitchen floor where i saw into her eyes
i'm so sad like that and i'm so tired of missing her or missing her face
why can't i just accept alone?
AND WHY DO I HAVE TO ASK SO MANY QUESTIONS?

I are teh excited!!!!!11

This weekend, the women's swimming and diving team had a meet against kansas. For those of you who don't know, kansas is our rival school, so this was a big meet for the girls on both teams. I helped run the diving part of the meet, and my divers did really well. 1st, and 2nd place on 1 meter and 1st, 2nd, and 3RD PLACE on 3 meter, which is really impressive. I doubt that anyone on the team (or anyone who is really interested in swimming&diving) is reading this, but i have to brag, because they're on my team too.

The other reason i brought that up is because next weekend, both the women and men's teams will have a home meet against SIU. I'm sitting here on a Monday morning 5 days before the meet and i'm typing on this keyboard with my heart racing. I WANT TO COMPETE NOW. I missed out at big 12's for a really fun competition because i was sick, and i want to get back in there immediately and dive. This sounds really cheesy, but who cares. I friggin love it. Our team this year is capable of so many things, and it's exciting knowing that our potential outweighs our expectations.... I guess i'm trying to say that we're going to be the underdog of the majority of the meets this year. And we have lots of home meets this year too, and i'll be damned if the last season this pool has is a losing season. I can only dive two boards, but with the rest of the energy i have i'm hoping to excite some of my teammates and maybe feed them some crazy-hair competetive eye-of-the-tiger dip-n-rip hard-as-nails psychotic adrenaline that will either make their brain explode or make them swim faster or dive better and win.
yeah, i'm pumped
damn...it's only Monday....

I HAVE TO FINISH MY MATH HOMEWORK