February

It's the last and final day of February, which means one thing.
My mom's birthday was in February.

For such a shitty month, I have consistently forgotten a.) what day of Feb. her birthday is and b.) to tell her happy birthday. Now that's shitty. Or at least i feel shitty about it....shit.

Happy Birthday, mom. If you're reading this, i'm packing up one of my silver medals to give to you as a present. And if you're not reading this, then you'll still know that i'm not really sending a medal at all. If you read this in the next few months i will have seen you at least a few times for meets, so i'll most likely hug and belatedly celebrate the date that was your day of birth.

How infrequently do you have to attend your first class on Tues/Thurs to show up at the wrong time more than once? Today is the second time i've showed up at 9:00am to go to my Irish History class, which starts at 9:30am. I'm a doofus. Doofus i am.

So that means i'm on campus in Neff hall writing this post on a STEWPID G5 mac with a 10 yr old monitor and a cruddy, sticky keyed, translucent USB Mac keyboard. James, you suck for liking macs and trying to get me to like them too. I DON'T LIKE CHANGE!!! AAAAH WHERE'S MY RIGHT CLICK BUTTON! I CAN'T CUT AND PASTE OMFG KILLZ MEH!!!1111oneoneunodostresquatro55six

The "a" key on this keyboard especially sucks. Then again, maybe i just have a weak left pinky finger... I'm gunna go sit in my lecture hall and play Advance Wars 2, which I've almost FULLY completed/unlocked/gotten every char etc, which means that soon I can send both copies to James "apple4eva" Rogers so he can enjoy the turn-based strategy which i have so dubiously devoted my free time to all these years between and IN class.

Mom, if you're reading this, i didn't mean in class while class was going on.
And mom, if you're not reading this, then yeah i've played it in class a few times.
yes by few i mean many
and by many i mean in the PAST. I don't do that crud anymore because i'm a senior now.
Oh yeah, mom? I have another $400 gas bill. I'll let you know if scholarship check can't handle it.

and oh yeah, Teffy is visiting in April. Mizzou people, you want to meet my friend from the past. She's nice and fun and very polite.... oh crap, i just realized that if Teffy visits, she'll see my messy place and want to clean...
OH CRAP!
oh boy!
OMO NOES!
oy pepito

my sister rules. peace.

Jarman on TV, literally

2006 Big 12 Swimming and Diving Championships to be broadcast on Fox Sports Net

COLUMBIA, Mo.-- Fox Sports Net (FSN) will broadcast the 2006 Men's and Women's Big 12 Swimming and Diving Championships on a tape-delay basis beginning on...

Thursday, March 2 at Noon (CST).

Fox Sports Net will broadcast the championships also on...

Saturday, March 4 at 1 p.m.

(CST). Each broadcast will last two hours.

Watch it. Tape it. Share it. CHERISH IT! I don't think i'll be on TV for diving for a while after this showing, heh. But it's a goody, i didn't do GREAT on springboard, but 3 meter and platform are definitely my best showings of the year :D

PS - I hate the lady commentatress Cynthia Potter (no relation to the-boy-who-lived). She is a giant bag of douche and deserves nothing more than a hysterectomy and giant middle finger from me. (note: those two have nothing to do with each other, and should never be combined or acted out in pair. boo cynthia)

My senior speech was cool but i left out my favorite part...

and i hate to say i regret it, but I'd give anything for another chance to do it right.

Lee, call me or construct a mashed potato replica of Middle Earth. These are your two options. Choose WISELY

hey Omar, what's up?

i wonder if skydivers feel like this

no fruit on tree
no light in tunnel
no candy in wrapper
no wallet in pocket
no brain in head
no toes in socks
no name on test
no letters on keys
no keys in lock

why do i do this to myself and why can't i just stop being so predictably and obediently DEPRESSED. what the hell does that even mean
why am i even typing this if i can't even justify why i wrote it? what use do any of my emotions have if i don't even know why i'm feeling them? what's the use? how could anyone go through their life without being able to explain how THEY, THEMSELVES feel.

i can't explain how horrible i feel
i'm not myself and never will be again

i don't believe anything and can't even say how depressing it is to even
say it

doing better

i'm not jumping the gun

i'm jumping the... jumprope.

fun for the whole family.

Lenny The Ogre: >.>
Lenny The Ogre: <.,
Lenny The Ogre: AH!
Lenny The Ogre: My eye!

the non-nautical kind

When you're the only one online and NOT away or idle, do you ever feel like the whole world's turned into zombies and you're left sitting at your computer after being on vacation and you wondered why your doormat was red with blood and the dog is chasing the cat, but instead, the cat is missing half of it's head and not rubbing and purring against your leg, but when you walked in the door it just flew towards your neck and bit your adam's apple like it was full of catnip seasoned tuna?

...or am i the only one who gets that sinking feeling?

see you online! bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *spoons out a serving of cerebellum*

volatile

i just want to puke on everything to ruin it and then die.
[analyze and judge immediately for best results]

apologies

obviously not been myself lately.
my scariness isn't necessary, i was just trying to visit a different part of myself to see if i could feel better... i don't know
i'm not finding much...

where's a giant dragon to slay when i need one?

February 8th can kiss my ass

Good day? Bad day? What's wrong? What's wrong with you? What's your problem? Why are you freaking out? Why do you feel that way? What are you doing? Why are you losing your mind? WHAT'S WRONG? HOW ARE YOU? WHY CAN'T YOU TELL ME ABOUT IT? CALM DOWN. DON'T WORRY. IT WILL BE OK. HOW ARE YOU? WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING? WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? HOW'S SWIMMING?

If for one moment in time i could see every question ever asked in my life coming at me at once and given the choice to choose which ones to avoid and which ones to answer, i think that all of the above questions would be disregarded and sent to hell to burn in a fire fueled by furbies, pokemon cards, parking tickets, report cards, medical forms, and the tiny plastic things that attach the pricetag to clothing. The little shits that look like extended I's
]-----[

How the hell am i supposed to remain calm and respect everything when i view myself to be unrespectable? What certain trait do i have that makes me so different that i am forced to disregard any form of authority and order and enslave myself to a life of sloth, filth and constant nuisance.

I'm fated to a SHIT-HOLE lifestyle. "Fortunately" for me, i have a team of people showing me how best i dig my hold of shit. i have a whole school pointing out how i don't fit in.

bleeding chest hole on a shit mountain eating cock scab ass hairs of a motherless cajun cavity infection burning through nothing that lingers and penetrates by never happening over and over every day.

i hate my medication. i can't even express anything anymore. i never make sense and i never mean what i say and i never do what i want and i can't ever do anything because i never want to do anything. it's not a cycle, because i see an end occuring very soon.

you fucking bitch
fuck you in your fucking northface jacket and vest wearing your hair up and looking every 3 minutes at me while i type this out
you fucking bitch jsut keep pecking at your keyboard sending messages thorugh facebook while i stare at you
you fucking bitch, that's not your real hair color, that's not a real tan, that's not your real feelings that's not you. you lie to everyone and can't stop it because it's too scary to be unique and alone.
you fucking bitch, texting some frat asshole on your phone who can't stop thinking about you because his monotonous buisness classes give him nothing more interesting to think about other than your fake, gum-chewing, hollow-smiling, skill-less, good-approval-rated ass.

Step on muffins. snap bamboo. fold stickers. scratch discs. tear paper. break glass. drown birds. dry fish. eat salt. scream shit. reverse your blood, peel your skin, eat your hair, bite your nails, cut your eyelids, stuff your ears, burn your palms, shred your tounge, and burn your house down. create a hell like mine and then not care. pee on your dead parents heads and don't forget to flush. rake the yard for bodies and never stop bleeding from the neck. soar off of buildings into traffic. interrupt hugs. steal electricity.

i'm colorblind to everything and i want to peel back my toenails. jarman's got feathers, but not wings. he can burn and wants to try, he wants joy but seeks hate

i want this to stop.

but I want to end it.

if there's help, i don't need it

i am jarman

and i'm me for a reason

Private Perfect

James sent me the link to a flash game called "N" which stands for ninja. It's a little stick man that runs around big rooms jumping and wall kicking to flip switches to open a door... which he goes into. Simple. FUN! addicting. I've played at least 50 different levels and i'm not even halfway through the game.

I wanted to write more in here but it doesn't seem like i'm full of info/interesting stuffffffffffff

The title of the post comes from a conversation between me and a friend yesterday. I don't think i should say any more untill i get CLEARANCE from super-intel Lt. Perfect. :D

Shark loves birds
I love anime
and winter hates us all.

I ordered Samurai 7 vol. 4 online for $18, and because i have been thinking about it... and also because i SHOULD, i bought the Steamboy/Memories 2DVD set for $30. Free shipping, w00t. Altogether: $48. Store-bought price: 30+40= $70. I just saved 22 buckssssss. I'm extending my wordssssss like shark does. I noticed that when i talked to her online for the first few times. I was beyond smitten.

My bed is a peice of shit.
It's so bowl-like now that i can feel the floor beneath me instead of the matress. I hate it. It's causing me discomfort in my sleeping hours, which causes stress in my awake hours. I should call a witchdoctor to come put a bed-healing ward up. It's ridiculous.

I built a little empire out of some crazy garbage called the blood of the exploited working class
But they've overcome their shyness, now they're callin' me "your highness", and the world screams: kiss me, son of god.
-tmbg

Suffocation

1. To kill or destroy by preventing access of air or oxygen.
2. To impair the respiration of; asphyxiate.
3. To cause discomfort to by or as if by cutting off the supply of fresh air.
4. To suppress the development, imagination, or creativity of; stifle

how can this be considered change when it's really just the death of a part of me

i won both boards
might as well have hit both boards with my face

there's no difference. nobody cares.

perfect day

My cousin Richard had this in his facebook profile. I find it hilarious, though thouroughly offensive, unrealistic, and silly.

6:00 Alarm
6:15 Blow job
6:30 Massive satisfying shit while reading the sports section
7:00 Breakfast: steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by naked, buxom
wench who bends over a lot showing her growler
7:30 Limo arrives
7:45 Several beers en-route to airport
9:15 Flight in personal Lear Jet
9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route)
9:45 Play front nine - 2 under
11:45 Lunch: steak and lobster, 3 beers and a bottle of Dom Perignon
12:15 Blow job
12:30 Play back nine - 4 under
2:15 Limo back to the airport (several bourbons)
2:30 Fly to Bahamas
3:30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew, all nude, who
also bend over a lot displaying growlers
4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs) - on light tackle
5.00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Brittany Daniels (bending over, naturally).
6:45 Shit, Shower and Shave
7:00 Watch news: Oprah and Dr. Phil assassinated;
7:30 Dinner: lobster appetizers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet steak
followed by Ice-cream served on a big pair of tits
9:00 Napoleon Brandy and Habanos cigar in front of wall-size TV as I watch the Chiefs kick the Patriots ass and Derrick Johnson rips Tom Brady's head from his neck after Brady slips out of his pants revealing he actually has a vagina.
9:30 Sex with three women (all with lesbian tendencies...some bending over)
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer
11:30 A night cap blow job
11:45 In bed alone
11:50 A 22 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to
leave the room
11:51 Laugh myself to sleep