Lies Can Be Words Too

I want to hear you feel me touch you.
I miss feeling you taste me.
Right now all I do is see you hear me.
I'd give my eyes to feel you hear me.

I'm a sucker for nonsense
All the way on a word of yours
I'm just one man of desire
Who could live in your pores

I want to hear you feeling me touching you.
I miss feeling you taste me.
Right now all I see is you hearing me.
I'll give my eyes to feel you hear me.

We barely live together
You're in his room, not mine
and I love it when you wake me up
we could live for one another
we could live for one another

I'd give my world to live in yours
I'd give my world to live in yours
My arms, eyes, tongue, ears, nose, take it.
I said take it. It's yours.

Just give me a... taste.
Just give me a brush.
Just give me a curve.
Just give me a hint.
Just give me a word.

The Party's Crashing Me

There's no real sense to be made of me right now.
I'm not doing anything correctly. I'm thinking right, my head is set... but i can't function. I can't sustain myself.

It's make or break time... Plan A goes into effect immediately.



I'm saving up money and moving to Australia in January.

"Why I'm here... I dunno about you guys."

Why are most religions based on something you can't control? Is that the great universal truth that we're all searching for? "ACCEPTANCE: GET IT." And then boom, enlightenment follows. Buddism wants me to give up EVERYTHING. But I can't survive without food. Christianity wants me to live like Jesus. But I'm a sinful creature and have impure thoughts. But I'm going to be forgiven in the end because I TRULY BELIEVE, right? Hinduism wants me to accept my role in this life. WHICH role? Who ever feels destined to be a street bum anyway?

Are we so embedded in this mind of doubt that nobody can honestly say they understand? Babies are born knowing NOTHING. They are born without hostility or confusion or fear. They immediately learn everything from the world around them. Nobody wants to feel like a child anymore, but WHY? They know nothing, have nothing, and can DO nothing... they are zen creatures, they are what we are all aspiring to be. They are the sinless, pure beings most symbolic of immortals. A true immortal doesn't live in this world, there's nothing here worth spending eternity doing. If I had a choice to live forever here, or to have a death and not exist, I'd choose to equal everything out and die. I'm not sure how to express that i'm not afraid of death but i'm not. I'm afraid of trying too hard for something that won't pay off in the end. I get as much joy out of being lazy as I do being deservedly lazy. Since when does anyone deserve anything anyway?

I'm stuck on this bit of communicating lately. That's what my life boils down to. The good and bad, that's it. It's good interaction and it's bad interaction. I feel better knowing that I can communicate with someone. I feel terrible knowing that I failed a chance to communicate anything, or that I have not brought them a point of view different from their own. It's philosophy, it's advertising, it's debate, it's art, music, playing catch, saying hello, laughing, putting your head in your hands and screaming, it's not saying anything at all, it's disagreeing, it's thinking you know instead of KNOWING that you DON'T KNOW.
It's a conversation.
It's love.
It's making mistakes.
It's not understanding, it's trying to understand.

Never give up.

What I Should Have Said

You were right about me - I can't hurt you. I can't even touch you.

Ever since you lived with us, you've been that pure, true person that has no flaws or weakness or lies. You're the girl in the window putting on makeup in the mirror. You're beautiful to a point where I can't look at you anymore. I've found everything to like about you but haven't found anything that gives me any confidence.
You're too good for me,
so i'm complacent that I can't have you.

You're the nature loving over-care-er who I've always wanted to be with.
You found my face when you talked to me, and it caught me off guard every time.
I should have kissed you in the rain
but we'll never have that moment again
which is to say that we'll always have that moment
and that's what I'll love