pack

So I'm of the mind to start writing right now in the middle of the night. I wonder how many writers start in the middle of the night? Probably a whole timezone, at least. There are some things that have a certain sound. What am i saying... EVERYTHING has a sound! The sounds you choose to recall as specifically UNIQUE, or important, are realized only after you hear the sound again. Does recalling sound come easier to some people? I should hope so, they would be my hero.

There isn't a lot to be said about what i've become. I no longer feel impressive, I feel forgotten and meaningless. I don't want to think of diving as this golden time i lived in college or anything, but that's exactly what it's turning out to be if i keep fucking my life over like i have been. Dad's right about health insurance, but i don't really fucking WANT health insurance! I want to be out there! Living desperately! WHY!? I DON'T KNOW WHY! IT SEEMS ROMANTIC.
It seems like whoever finds me at my lowest will know what it's like to be with me at my worst. Why am I waiting for someone to make my life better?
Why am I waiting for someone else to make my life better?
What would make my life better?
What would anyone make any different about my ability to make my own life better?
What do i want to do with my life that i can't do with or without someone else?
Basically, I don't think there's anything I can do ...
Why do I have no self confidence?
What's so great about self confidence? REWARD
What reward do you want?
A girlfriend is not a reward.
I would love a family, but what is the good in seeing a relationship as something you can FORCE?
You can force money.
And that says nothing of who you are and what you do.
I should pack for days.
And be prepared
for the inevitable.

I think I'll play halo after they patch it

I'm sick of hearing people complain about the price of Castle Crashers.

20 years ago, people would pay $20 for ONE SINGLE DAY at an arcade.
You got to play several different games and pour quarters into machines due to lame deaths, cheap surprises, and really tough bosses.
Castle Crashers is an arcade style game.
You die frequently and quickly.
Good gameplay is trained, not spoon-fed.
You can use several different tactics due to the fact that FOUR PEOPLE CAN PLAY THE GAME AT THE SAME TIME.
FOUR PEOPLE CAN PLAY THE GAME AT THE SAME TIME.
FOUR PEOPLE CAN PLAY THE GAME AT THE SAME TIME.
Take your $15 goddamn dollars, divide by 4, and that's how much you should be paying (IF YOU ACTUALLY HAVE FRIENDS WHO WANT TO PLAY GAMES WITH YOU(the price of THAT, however, is invaluable)).

Allow me to rephrase that: Instead of watching 2 people desperately try to out-do one another in guitar hero, or watch one person flail around helplessly on drums in rockband, or stand in a room probably not big enough to seat 4 people and give them Wiimotes to wiggle around for a game of TENNIS, you can have them -sit- and hold a -controller- that commands a little dude that has -endless magic- and goes through level after level of -seemingly endless fun- or untill -one of your -friends- has to go home because they have to go to work in 5 hours and -needs sleep-.

It's not supposed to be a million-dollar blockbuster title. They don't want a million dollars, they want a million fans.

For certain, they have one.

diving in

Terrible people do terrible things. Good people also do terrible things to themselves, which in turn, makes them terrible people.
I'm not doing anything worth speaking about.

"What are you up to, Evan?"
"Nothing."

I'm not writing like i want to
I don't have a motorcycle that I have always wanted
I'm single and feeling very lonely in that respect
And I hate living with my parents

What's my solution to jump start my life?


how bout a jump

don't feel comfortable

I'm almost 100% more comfortable writing things down online (aka - typing) than i am writing them out by hand.

That being said, I don't feel like I can write here anymore.

The end of Jarman may be at hand.