i actually had more...but it didn't translate well, but here's a poem i wrote a while back: mashed potatoes are light, dark, hard and soft...how quickly i indulge, so easy to obsess...forget green beans and pork chops, corn and all the rest...for mashed potatoes rule my plate, oh taytoes, you're the best

major decision has been made in my life....i named the voice in my head....and his name is...(yes it's a he)*drumroll*....ALEJANDRO!!! *cymbals!*
but you can call him AL
:-D

as this is such an important stepping stone in my life, that is all for today...try getting aquainted with Alejandro.

AFTERTHOUGHTS: i probably shouldn't have written so much crap about Flintstones vitamins...but as they say "oh well"...... MORE THOUGHTS THAT MAKE NO SENSE: tonight i fought for my internet wife, Nikole. As it was a short battle between Travis and myself, i believe that i was truly the victor...because he fought like the cheap heartless bastard he is. *regains composure* as i was saying, the battle for her love raged on for a good...2 minutes, with my opponent shooting out both of my kneecaps. Mind you, this was after i had executed an Iron Foot manuever on his groin. So after the battle ended, i lay on the ground, paralyzed and defeated, only to accept my defeat by a truly more tactile foe. My weapon sits in my hand to be used again...for my own demise. I determine silently that a life without the one I love is not a life at all...and i turn it upon myself and terminate my already ended life. AFTERTHEMORETHOUGHTSTHATMAKENOSENSE: you all DO know that i am kidding in every way possible and will no way...EVER! kill myself. But i WILL however fight for what i love and believe in, but only if i don't like the person i'm fighting.(no offense, Travis)

as i was getting on the elevator today, i had the strange craving for some flintstones vitamins. and after bending to the urge to take my vitamins, i decided that it would be a good thing to blog about, and HERE IT IS! another thing i've noticed...i need to wash my hands more often, because it was pointed out this morning that i still have X's on my hands from saturday night. and as i was staring at my X-ed hands in spanish this morning, i remembered that aaron still has my bag of pop-tarts in his room...i need to get those back before he finds them and eats them...those shifty canadians....so to remind myself of this, i wrote "popT" on my left hand, just above the X. (note: the only reason i brought up the pop tart thing was because i looked down at my hand while typing this blog that you are now reading this very moment) ok, now to the right hand, because i don't want to leave him out. i have a bandaid on the end of my middle finger covering a wart that is currently being treated. on my knuckles i still have scars from when i punched the door in my room in the basement in the house that my parents reside in...IN St. Louis. (just for reference, there is an X on my right hand too) BACK TO SPANISH! i like that class alot, mostly because the TA talks slow, makes GOOD jokes, and wears hats that match his outfit...which is so incredibly strange...but i also noticed today that very few people in that class of mine can pronounce the language well. I'm not saying that i can...i'm just saying that i can pronounce it better :-D and that was spanish today. after that class i went to study hall, where my nose, just OUT OF THE FRIKKIN BLUE...started bleeding. now if this isn't a sign that i have dry skin in my nose...i don't know what is.(unless of course sand starts flowing forth from my nostrils) so after taking care of that i told my tutor that i didn't have anything to do (this being only the 2nd week of classes) and went back to the dorm, where i got on the elevator, had the craving for flintstones vitamins, ate vitamins, opened the blog, noticed my hands, and then went on and on and on and on and on and on and on about my worthless, meaningless 2-hour day that should NOT have been described in as much detail as it was....but oh well.

oh, and i'd like to say that i don't like watching football...and that this years superbowl has ruined football for me for the rest of my life...now if you'll excuse me i'll be tending to the emu's.

i heard someone say that love isn't thinking about someone when you're alone in bed at night...that it's something more than that...this person failed to explain to me what it REALLY was, and therefore left me begging for an answer of some sort. But i think that's a load of donkey doo, because i think that love is whatever the hell you want it to be, and it doesn't matter who you choose to love, how, when, where, or even WHY....most of the time you can't even explain why you love them, or even know how...but you know you do. and that, my friends....is really frikkin sappy.... :-D....but who cares, i write what i want on here and you can't do anything about it.

that was an ode to my grey hooded sweatshirt....*moment of silence*....it loves me unconditionally :D

In these arms, i am who i want to be.
nobody judges me, i feel so strong and free.
in these arms i feel warm and safe.
But sometimes the arms aren't enough to keep me safe from cold,
sometimes when the cold is worst, those caring, loving arms can't warm my cold and freezing form.

There are days where everything flows within normal levels of sanity... and then there are days where all sanity is thrown out the window and your brain decides to make everything you do the most important decision of your entire life; and for the most part, every decision you make is WRONG which causes even MORE problems. On these days, everyone is your enemy, everything is disgusting and vile, you feel ill, tired, stupid, alone, angry and altogether EMPTY. Things you plan on enjoying change from pleasure to mediocre amusement. EVERYTHING IS CHALLENGING, and you never seem to succeed. You fantasize about going to your room, curling up in the corner and falling asleep untill tomorrow, because tomorrow might be different...but deep down you don't really believe that...and instead of sleeping, you stay up and brood over your horrible horrible day.

I found a new band today- Ben Folds Five one dude plays the piano, and all the songs are pretty mellow, like i told dave, it's a good band to listen to as you go to sleep. and seeming how nobody has made any suggestions as to what i should name the little person in my head, i was thinking of naming it Sofokleez. but that might change. i'm also thinking about getting a sword, because well...swords are cool...and having these thoughts also suggests that i need a job of some sort...you know...make money so i can buy things like swords and baseballs....and...and....legos.........

Just to clarify, i don't hate zac, i'm just venting about the things that annoy me. He's really a great roommate....wait wait....the BEST roommate anyone could ask for. He doesn't EVER complain, and barely makes any noise, other when he's using stereo equipment.

I found out today that indeed there IS a little person inside my head that walks in and out of my thoughts. I'll end up saying something to make a point, then the little person will blurt out something that totally contradicts my previous point. it's annoying now that i've recognized this little person changing the subject, contradicting me, commenting on things that do NOT need commenting...i think this person needs a name...yeah...a name...how about you guys try to name this little jimminy cricket-like person in my head(except this one is STUPID and NOT HELPFUL) so give me suggestions on a name for it, and i'll give you a name in a week or so. byebye

Teffy G 0 3 wasn't feeling good tonight (she had some bad mexican food or something), so i cheered her up. I hope she feels better soon. OH! and Jenny said that my blog is interesting and funny, and not boring like other peoples. w00t me again. well Jenny, it seems that this entry will prove you wrong, seeming how i'm too tired to be funny and/or interesting. it sure is nice having a fridge XD

today was a big step in the advancement of the dorm room....INSTALLATION OF THE NEW FRIDGE!!!!! I believe that deserves a w00t.....*ahem*...W00T!!!!!!!!! heheheh it's lovely, freshly stocked with ginger ale, Dr. Pepper, frappucino, and SOBE! w00t! again! anyway, lets move on to the rest of the dorm room. like how my roommate doesn't really respect my space or anything...it's not bad yet, but it is kinda gettin' on my nerves, but he'll turn off lights when i'm cleaning, play music when i'm watching TV, watch tv or play music when i'm on the fone, or...best of all....i'll be reading something in my bed(it's rare, but it DOES HAPPEN) and he will play music on the computer, play music on the stereo, and watch tv ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's SCARY!...*shudder*...but i use his computer all the time, so it works out somehow.

that pretty much sums up my thoughts of the day...not including my dream which i will describe here...so, i'm walking down the sidewalk, but instead of a road of asphalt next to me, it's a river, or stream. and of course i keep walking like it's supposed to be there, and enjoy the pleasant scenery on the other side of the sidewalk. i'm wearing a really comfortable robe of some sort then before i know it, i'm walking next to someone...and it's like we're holding hands, but not physically making contact.... me and this girl walk "hand in hand" with grand glorious smiles on our faces into a light....then i wake up. my dreams don't ever have conclusions to them like this one, so it was very very strange. isn't walking in dreams supposed to symbolize something? why was the street full of water? who was the girl? (as if that's really a question i have to ask (232))

when the ground seems to shine like you've had too much wine, that's a-mor-e...when the stars make you drool just like pasta fazul, you're in love...when life seems like a dream...but you know you're not dreaming, senore....s'cuza me, but you see, back in old Napoli, that's amore! WHEEEEEEEEEN DAAAAAA moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore...

hi everybody hi doctor nick! the past 10 days have been very productive in my diving, and also with the relationships with my teammates. i have shown them who i am, and also that i will not be someone i'm not...and they have accepted me, well at least thats how i feel, they may have accepted me a long time ago, but OH WELL. for the past 10 days i've been thinking *GASP!* yes yes, i know, it was scary for me too. we had 2 two-hour practices every day, and that leaves a LOT of time for thinking between dives, etc. during those 10 days i would have eaten 3 socks for the chance to release those brooding thoughts into my simple little blog...but did i have the chance?....NO! so now after returning from my trip, i find all of these thoughts crammed into the back of my brain, all mixed up and very much confused. i only hope that many hours of sleep can sort out this mess of mental storage, so i can regurgitate it into the T.D. so look forward to either many angry posts, or a few, very meaningfull posts :D

well the time has come....and gone....2002 is over and i couldn't feel better about 2003. it's got a nice ring to it...2003....like a bell...anyway, i wish you all a happy new year-make this year special. HOLY CRAP that sounds cheesy, but anyway i wish you all a good, happy, memorable 2003...damn, that sounds cheesy too, oh well, maybe i'm made of cheese. for the next 10 days i will be in orlando, FL on a diving training trip. what does that mean? it means that i go to florida to get better at diving, have fun, and get BETTER AT DIVING! w00t! so i probably won't be able to post for a while. i know this is very disheartening for many of you (who is you? (i don't know)) but i know you'll pull through it (there you are again!) have fun reading all of my old, boring posts...in the meantime, i'll be in Florida.. XD ~~~this post dedicated to dana~~~