LEAVING ON A JET PLANE

i leave tomorrow for Austin, TX to compete at our conference meet. I will be there till Sunday, when i get back here around 5.

i compete on Thursday at 1pm and later at 6ish
on Friday at 10am, then again later around 5
and Saturday i dive at 10:30 and 5

check out My Team's Website for day-to-day updates.

and i want EVERYBODY to leave a comment. Because it's fun. Like ice cream.

doozies

HOW can a love turn so sour?

WHY can't i tell her why?

WHAT makes my stomach twist like a knot?

WHEN will this ever be better?

WHERE is the answer to any of these questions?

WHO HAVE I BECOME????

fuck ritalin

i don't take my medication on the weekends because i don't want to. Its my body and i would like to think that the weekend is my time to relax and take time to myself. So fuck the medication on Saturday and Sunday.

We had morning practice today...the only morning practice we've had all year. And i still can't sleep which makes mornings that much harder. And when i told him that i hadn't taken my ritalin, he of course overreacted and got nervous. So when i start diving, and get frusterated with a dive that has been pissing me off all year, of course he blames it on me not taking my medicine.....
.....
....
....*long silent period in post*
...
ok i just got off the fone with greg(coach) and we talked about all this stuff that i was just posting, and he understands that i feel like shit and hate it. but the only downfalls of taking this medicine is the few side effects, and of course it sucks when i DON'T take it during practice.

so the ends justify the means...however, the means will be altered later so that the ends feel more justified. does that make sense....um...yeah. ok, now video games till my eyes bleed.

I. HAVE. COMMENTS.

I HAVE COMMENTS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111oneone

HOLY CRAP IT'S A DREAM COME TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111oneoneeleven

I'M MAYBE A BIT TOOOOOOOO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111onemilliononehundredandeleventhousandonehundredandeleven

I owe this blessing to James, because he told me to go to haloscan and get a comments page... :'( it's just so beautiful!

now EVERYBODY leave a comment with your name at the VERY least (example comment: George(that's IT!))

w00t this rules, and yeah i also changed the name from I AM JARMAN !!!! to I am Jarman.

...........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cite your sources, evan

If you are looking for my most recent post, it can be found at Teffy's blog, where i have guest posted.

better than yesterday

That was a really unpleasant entry yesterday. I was having a really bad morning due to lack of sleep and food. But Billy and Matt cought me in the middle of the street and gave me a ride to campus, and i saw Dave in GCB, and he laughed at my joke for a long time, then i took a nap in mythology, got to my biology class and started REALLY enjoying my SoBE that i had bought earlier (in an attempt to make my day better) and THEN i saw liz, jason, and belinda on my way to sit somewhere, and they went to class and THEN i saw my cousin Jo, who i NEVER see on campus, but i sat down and talked with him and his friend for an hour, then i went to spanish and had fun laughing at the incompetence of my spanish class. then went to practice. had a good practice. team meeting sucked, but by "taking care of chad"
i got out of study hall
:D
and i bought apple juice
and twinkies

w00t.

i hate this fucking life

ok
so
i'm on medication for my attention problem
i hate it
i stopped taking medication a long time ago because i hated it so much
because it was fucking with my life
fucking with my head
my sleep
my eating
ME
i was getting screwed by pills every day
i hated it and quit
but now
NOW IT'S COLLEGE
AND I'M OLDER
AND CAN TAKE MEDICATION AGAIN?
this is worthless
what is the point of being able to concentrate in school when all i can think about is how i stayed up all night, went to bed at 2 am, and woke up at 6
without alarms
without anything
i can't sleep
i ate one meal yesterday
ONLY because i wasn't hungry
because of these fucking pills
i hate it
i didn't want to take it, but decided to do it anyway, because my grades were slipping

MAYBE I JUST HATE SCHOOL AND DON'T WANT TO DO IT ANYMORE
EVER THINK OF THAT?
NO, OF COURSE NOT...COLLEGE IS THE BEST FOR YOU
WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT IT???!?!

COLLEGE...
the answer to all my questions, of course
the solution to my problem

college...school...
the reason i ask so many impossible questions
and the biggest problem in my life

why the fuck do i have to do this?
who is making me go through this?
I'LL SURE BE HAPPY WHEN I'M DONE
says the me in 5 years that i can't see
says the me in 10 years that i don't want to be
says the me when i'm so old and retarded that i won't remember any of this and wish i would have done better in school
I'LL BE HAPPY THEN! HOORAY!
fuck that

i feel like a peice of clay...being pounded into the 'ideal' citizen...losing my original design...being pushed and squeezed and smashed

fuck this life
fuck this misery that will pay off in the end
fuck this life

Tephy's GUEST POST

Ooooooooooooo ive hacked my way into pibbworld!
no not really he kinda let me in. he he!

this is another one of those things im going to do instead of studying right now
i wanna write kind of an ode to this cheesecake i ate lastnight.

THEY CALLED IT VANILLA BEAN CHEESECAKE
four layers of bliss i say
started out with your basic gramcracker type crust
the next three layers were strangly speckled with tiny black dots
then you had your cheesecake layer. . .only it was much more creamyer than normal
the next layer was either the vanilla or the bean
followed by another vanilla bean whipped cream like layer
the moment it hits your tounge your in heaven
it was soooooo creamy you could just let it sit on your tounge
it left its creamy sweet taste in my mouth for at least a good
half an hour before it finally faded.
ive never tasted anything sooo purely sweet and splendid in my entire life
if anyone can find a better cheesecake id have to buy nick one too.
if i hadnt of shared this vanilla bean slice of bliss with him. . .i wouldnt be here today
to tell you all about it.

Pure bliss for the low low price of $3.95 a slice (yeah kinda high for cheesecake)

**faints**

thank you meesta pibb for letting me share this moment on your blog
everyone should go read mine too

not

Amy and i have been boyfriend and girlfriend(going out or what not) for over a month now, and i just ended this relationship.

Blog, i feel like you should know this.

Blog, i also feel tired, because i love amy and want the best for her, and i wasn't the happy person that she wanted, so i stopped hiding it.

Blog, she knows how i feel, and i hate knowing that she feels so bad right now.

But blog.... i can't express to you how i feel, because i can't. I have typed out words, but erased them because they are not true. So i am telling you that i can't say how i feel right now, possibly because i don't know exactly... but i hope sleep will help that, and maybe you will find out tomorrow. So be prepared.

Other than that, blog, goodnight. And to all reading, hello.

Lost In Translation
GO SEE THIS MOVIE. ITS GREAT. I LOVE IT. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

one A.M.

1 AM rolls in faster every night, and i'm pleading with the clock to go back to 10:30 so i can get a good nights sleep. It feels like my head has billiard balls in it and has been weighing down on my neck all day. I have no strength to do anything, i have no energy to even think. I AM SICK. SICK LIKE A DOG. WOW. SICK. Yeah, that kinda sick. I know it's just strep, but it's making me wonder about diving and stuff. If i'm this sick during a competition, that's like a deflated ball to a basketball coach. WORTHLESS. I haven't done anything wrong in keeping myself healthy, yet i get as sick as i've ever been 2 weeks before conference. (conference is a big meet, but not the important one(the important one is 4 weeks from now))

Then randomly...

I thought: what if I got hit by a car on campus today while turning in my ONE assignment?

What if I got hit by a car and got injured just because i wasn't in class because i was sick, and the only reason i was on campus in the first place was because i was turning in a 2 page shitty assignment for a class! Print paper > leave building > cross street *BAM* > lying on ground... It could happen that fast, and I could be left with a handicap or at least an injury for the rest of my life. DIVING. GONE. But i thought again (in my sickly, pessimistic mood) that even if i DID get hit by a car and by SOME CHANCE happen to NOT-GET-HURT....then i would probably still quit diving just because i need to do something more productive with my life. The ends don't justify the means or something....i dunno...it's late...goodnight

i'm sick and tired. literally. don't take this post seriously
(this has been a reoccuring theme lately)

punk o matic

8-a---------9-3-0----1--------------------------------

-4-4a-------------------------------------------------------------

--------------------------------

These are all different songs that have been created using THE PUNK-O-MATIC BABY, YEAH!
The first one is Weel's, the next 2 are mine...in order to load our songs, go to the link above and then click LOAD and paste the above "code" into the space provided... :D this game roxxors so much. AND it makes you feel talented...at least music-wise.

lessons in life, by pibb

RULES

After a very prosperous 20 years, I have determined that the lessons I have learned in life...have been kept to myself. In other words, I have not necessarily shared them with others. No longer will this be true.
And with that...

LESSON 1:
SAY WHAT YOU MEAN, EVEN WHEN IT SUCKS.
This is quite possibly the easiest thing to do out of all these lessons, and I believe that it is most important. HOW HARD CAN IT BE TO BE HONEST?

LESSON 2:
QUESTION AUTHORITY
Now I know that i'm making a list of things to do, and then telling everyone to do the opposite. NOT TRUE, questioning rules and authority can be done silently, peacefully, and you should probably still obey these rules...but ALWAYS QUESTION THEM.

LESSON 3:
DEATH HAPPENS
When you see a dead flower, does it bother you to a point of complete dispair? It shouldn't, because like ying and yang, life must have death. I'm not saying death is good, but if you accept it as a natural cycle of life, then it is much easier.

LESSON 4:
WISHES AND DREAMS
Wishes are impulsive and trivial, while DREAMS ARE MORE THAN THAT, DREAMS ARE GREATER THAN ANY WORDS CAN EXPRESS.

LESSON 5:
SPICE IT UP A BIT
This is simple. DON'T DO ONE THING, THINK ONE THING, OR BE THE EXACT SAME PERSON FOREVER. Change happens whether you like it or not, but it's much easier to take when you guide the change yourself.

If ANYONE wants to let me know how much of an idiot they think I am for writing this, go **** yourself, because this is my lesson, and you didn't have to read it anyway. I'm not telling ANYONE to do anything, i'm just letting everyone know how I think...which is very humble of me, in my opinion.