no. bad dog

So I met with my oral tradition professor today to talk about my test grade, and overall grade in the class. We went over the test together, and (like always) he restated what he wrote on the test paper for every question i got wrong. I apparently was not specific enough when describing the oral poems we went over in class. More than that he said "you didn't present enough factual information" which implies that obviously some of what i wrote was opinionated or something that i had thought up in my head, which is obviously WRONG. The things we discussed in class are the things that now appear to be "factual" and anything regarding the information that i don't agree with is now "opinion" and wrong. I got a 28/100 for writing 3 essays, defining 12 terms, and lost 72 points due to my disagreement with the teacher/class on the main idea of a south slavic epic involving 3 pages of a princess choosing which dress to wear for when her hero comes and rescues her.

This is an emotion that drives me. It is strong, it is important, and it does not pertain to any of you. It is mine, and you can't have it. This is my last resort, my emergency ration. I hate being wrong about something just because it's what I think. Oral tradition is bullshit anyways.

On top of that, i was reading a magazine in the bookstore and a bookstore worker came up to me and said "don't tear that disc out", implying that i should not remove the demo disc from the magazine like a 12 year old at Barnes and Noble. HOW OLD AM I? Who the hell are you? Get a life and then come back to talk to me when demo discs aren't important to you so i can then KILL YOU BY STABBING YOU IN THE EYES WITH THE SHATTERED FIGMENTS OF THE CD THAT I WASN'T EVEN GOING TO CONSIDER STEALING. FUCK YOU AND TAKE THE NAMETAG OFF YOUR CHEST AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS. YOUR JOB IS NOT IMPORTANT AND IT SURE AS HELL DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO WARN ME ABOUT STEALING A 30 CENT CD FROM A MAGAZINE.

Fuck oral tradition, fuck the bookstore, fuck John Miles Foley, and fuck Official Playstation Magazine for their reviews of 1. War of the Monsters (5/5) 2. Batman Begins (4/5) 3. We <3 Katamari (4.5/5)
1. that game sucked donkey turds.
2. batman begins was the best movie i've seen since garden state.
3. those cocksucking bastards shouldn't be allowed to even TALK about katamari. they are fools and suck cocks....cocksuckers.

Really, though....
Stare your teacher in the eye and ask him what you did wrong.
Then try not to scream when he says that your 2-page essay did not cover enough information.
Then deny yourself the right to slap him in the face with your testpaper.
and then slap yourself on the wrist for trying to steal a demo disc from a cocksucking magazine.

then buy skittles, a red cream soda, the new EGM (reader-loyal and magnificent), sit down, and blog about it.
....cocksuckers

fucking fuck. fuck? FUcK!

I just wrote a 400-word post about my weekend.

Then it disappeared.

I shall instead transcribe the list of things i've eaten in the past 3 days.

friday
nutrition shake - strawberry
cherry coke
balance bar
powerade
hot fries
chocolate milk
orange mango passionfruit juice
banana nut muffin
a HUGE salad. 4 handfulls huge.
reuben sandwich
fries
pork and navy bean soup
cornbread muffin
milk
apple juice
cherry tomatos
spaghetti pie
banana pudding

saturday
balance bar
sun chips
gumby's pizza and pokey stix
2 sodas

sunday
breaded chicken sandwich
biscuit and gravy
five alive juice
ice cream
cereal
milk
pineapple
cookies
grilled stuff burrito
crunch wrap supreme

I seriously want to kill something. I had game reviews for all the new games i've been playing, a bunch of stuff about school and diving and my life being great right now....
wtf why did it have to destroy that post.

I JUST PEED MY PANTS

Quicktime version of peeing my pants
Windows media version of the same.

STILL PEEING!

Excuse me while i clean up. Whilst I am drying off my pants, check out the amazing harry potter movie clips i have listed above. All this and more can be found at muggle.net so don't hesitate to swing by there if you wants to see yourself some more harry potter stuff.
*waddles off to bathroom, goosepimpled*

***EDIT!***
I'M BACK FROM THE BATHROOM WITH ANOTHER LINK!
theatrical trailer #2
OH HOLY GOD IN HEAVEN WHY DOTH THOU TEASE-ETH MEeEE?!
******

AgreatBIGsteamingPILE

i'm not sure what it was, but i feel horrible. i've been eating well, maybe a bit too much sugar but that's normal. I've been sleeping well. I've been training well. I've been fine until yesterday. I fell asleep in study hall, which was probably a first sign (but i disregarded it because i went to practice and felt fine). After practice it started POURING rain - severe Tstorms. Running the 300 feet to subway, Kendra and I got effing soaked. So i ate my footlong southwest steak chipotle with haL-uh-pain-yoze and then went to study hall...which was empty (nobody showed up to "be in charge" of me. So I called shark, who was about to go study with nigel in the library. They offered to take me home to grab my book, then study with them.
I should have stayed at home.
I was exhausted, but went home, grabbed my book, then went back out into the rain to read in the library with them. After stumbling into the library around 8-ish, still wet and cold, i ended up reading for about half an hour before falling asleep. Then i felt too tired to even stay in my chair, so i laid on the floor under the table to sleep. So i slept on the library floor for about 2 hours while shark and nigel studied. After waking up, feeling even worse, i clicked around the computer before we actually left at midnight. I went to bed as soon as i got home but didn't get to SLEEP 'til 1.

THIS MORNING!&!^$#%*.....
I had set my alarm to go off at 6am, so i could get to morning practice at 6:30. I was ideally going to walk, take my backpack, then after practice, go study on campus somewhere and make up for the BONK that was last night. I woke up at 8. My alarm had been going off for two hours. I have no idea what happened to make me sleep through my alarm that long but i got out of bed feeling like SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT. Shit shit shit. My first class was like watching a heroin addict, i sat in the corner shivvering, twitching, making miserable faces and completely spacing out. (i have a test on thursday) I finally called my coach on the way to study hall and he's concerned about me being sick, obviously.
My trainer is no help whatsoever.
And study hall wants me to take time out of study hall to go rest.
.... wtf i don't want to do any of these things
"go talk to the trainers"
"go sleep"
"wake up" i tell myself.
my eyelids have minds of their own and i can't stay awake without intentionally jolting my body like a psychotic defibrillator. MONONUCLEOSIS. VIRUS. COLD. TIRED. WEAKNESS. Do you ever feel guilty for letting your guard down? which guard did i forget to leave up?

SOUR-VAY

SERiES 1
Birth time: 7:07 am.... *avoids eye contact*
Last place you traveled: define "traveled" float trip? NCAA's?
Eye Color: SOO Brown
Nail Color: flesh?
Height: 5'9/10"
Zodiac Sign: Saggitarius (the archer)

SERiES TW0 - DESCRiBE
Your heritage: mom is scottish, dad is irish... at least i think so... i really couldn't care less
The shoes you wore today: S A N D A L S. But i rarely wear them in the sand...
Your hair: a godless insanity that mimics extensions of my brain
Your weakness: time
Your fears: i fear tree stumps
Your perfect pizza: green peppers, onions, hamburger/bacon, fresh tomatoes, and then LOADED WITH PARMESEAN
One thing you'd like to achieve: i want to complete the sentence "when i grow up i wanna be a ____"

SERiES THREE - WHAT iS..
Your most overused phrase on aim: the classic lol, omg, wtf, and i say howdy like it's my job
Your thoughts first waking up: NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO AWAY!!!!!!!!! (unless i wake up next to shark, in which case use the opposite word)
Your current worry: How am I going to survive training + all these new video games + a couple tests
Your plans tomorrow: start a lunar colony. this has been long overdue.
Your best physical feature: my MASSIVE calves
Your greatest accomplishment: staying alive

SERiES F0UR - YOU PREFER
Sunrise or sunset: sunset. sunrise = awake = WTF AM DOING UP THIS GODDAMNED EARLY
Gore or horror: horror. gore is just messy, horror takes planning/intelligence
Eastsiiiide or wessssside: how about the wild west?
Stripes or polka dots: stripes
Money or fame: money. fame is a curse
Planes or trains: plane
Metal or hardcore: ...are we talking about some sort of activity here? i don't understand
Boxers or briefs: BREEFS
Your life is: like a plate full of food
Pools or hot tubs: pools

SERiES FiVE - DO YOU
Cuss: fuck no
Do you think you've been in love: confirm
Want to get married: yeparoonies
Type w/ your fingers on the right keys: uyes
Like to take baths: YES
Get motion sickness: NO
Like talking on the phone: no, not really
Like thunderstorms: yes
Play an instrument: violin...lin...lin
Workout: t'cha, bro. i totally pumped up my pecks the other day workin on the cuban press after squattin' like two fifty... totally...
Like reading: do i enjoy the act of translating symbols into words into thoughts? ...eh

SERiES SiX - FAVORiTES
Kind of fruit: PEAR OMGZ
Time of the day: 11:05pm
Feature in the opposite sex: kidneys ;-)
Car: Audi TT quattro
Number: 53V4n
Thing to do right before going to bed: exhaust myself playing video games or something
Thing to say when you're mad: FUCKING CUNTJUICE SWALLOWER CROTCH BUTTER
Era: ROY G BIV?
Horror movie: ummm... psycho is good, so is 6th sense, so is the ring, so is Seven... they are favorites
Colors: green

SERiES SEVEN - FUTURE
Age you hope to be married: a number greater than 21
Numbers & Names of Children: OMG I TOTALLY WILL HAVE A BILLION KIDS AND THEY WILL BE NAMED STUPID, QUESTION, WORTHLESS, POINTLESS, AND BILL
Describe your Dream Wedding: shut up
How do you want to die: i want to die without somebody asking me "is this how you wanted to die? because your survey said you wanted to die some other way"
What do you want to be when you grow up: (see: the last question of series 2)
What country would you most like to visit: Chile/Japan

SERiES EiGHT - STOOPID
OMG FAVORITE LETTER!: J
OMG LEFT OR RIGHT!: right
OMG FAVORITE MOVIE STARRING A PIG!: Charlotte's Web
OMG WHAT U WRITE ON UR TOMBSTONE!: 404 error - file not found
OMG TELL ME WHAT YOU LIKE TO EAT ON SUNDAYS!: food.

OMG WTF BBQ ROFL LOL GTFO TTYL THX AFK GTG SOS BYE

CONFESSION

I bought a video game online the other day. Advanced Wars 2 for the game boy advance. I bought it because I can't stand playing the same few levels on the first game. Also, Jessica handed me a free game rental from GameFly, an online video game rental thing. The only negative comment i've heard about gamefly is that sometimes the games you get in the mail are scratched and hardly playable. Hopefully the game I rent (Shadow of the Colossus) will work...enough...good enough...hopefully it will work... god damn i'm indecisive.

Speaking of which, the three most knuckleheaded people i know are trying to plan on a location for Nigel's birthday dinner: Cuz'n Liz, Nigel, and myself. It was funny realizing that we were each waiting for the other person to make a final decision/suggestion because each of us were too busy trying to take everyone/everything into account. Nigel finalized The Heidleburg as his 21st birthday locale so that is where we are going to go. boom.

Jessica is going to the Jimmy Eat World concert tonight. I envy her!! But in no way do i feel physically capable of attending a concert. I've got some sort of cold: sore throat, a bit of congestion, and a very noticeable exhaustion. But that is only bothering me due to the amount of training we are doing with diving. These first few weeks have one goal in mind: GET IN SHAPE
and for those of you who aren't familiar with what goes along with getting in shape, i shall translate this for you
GET IN SHAPE = PAIN

But anyways, I'm doing PEACHY compared to Kendra, who came to school with a torn ab muscle, and now is dealing with a painfull collarbone issue and anemia. Basically, she couldn't work out with us because of her ab, and now that she IS working out, she is sweating and peeing out all of her blood. She passed out yesterday at dinner and had to go to the hospital. She is doing much better as of this morning, but it's still worrying to think about peeing/sweating out all your blood. :(

Also, Jamey my roommate passed out while drinking with his friends and had to be carried in the door last night (on a MONDAY NIGHT WTF). It wasn't pretty. I think I might talk to him about his drinking because this isn't the first time he's embarassed himself from being way way way too drunk. And i kinda feel bad writing about this, but then again, alcholism should not be something that you keep private. If it's embarrassing, then GOOD you moron. Realize what you're doing when you drink and get a fucking handle on it. Jesus. *yells at imaginary roommate* AND ANOTHER THING! STOP STEALING MY MT. DEW!!!!!!!!!

amigo of the dorito

I have no dedication to my own nutrition whatsoever. Training to be an e1337 athlete 20+ hours a week, 12 hours of study hall a week, and 13 hours of class every week demands a lot of physical and mental vigor. Now when my diet consists of caffeine, candy bars, pop tarts, doritos, and dorm food from shark... that's just wrong. My body has most likely learned to cope with the disgusting items i intake everyday, but if i'm going to be training to go to NCAA's again, then I should probably step up the nutrition-level JUST A LIDDLE BIT.

But anyway, study hall blows. It blows almost as much as being poor all summer. At least it's air-conditioned and I have internet (as you can plainly see by reading this post; as I have written it in study hall).

I played a demo of Shadow of the Colossus yesterday, and I was beside myself with enchantment. The world you explore is huge and gorgeous, but having a hauss-of-a-horse to ride around on makes that horizon in the distance all of a sudden look like a wall with vines on it which you climb up and jump on and run over and look back down at your hauss-of-a-horse and say "HOW HE GET SO SMALL!?" The giant walking ... giants... that you fight are intimidating and enigmatic. The controls of your little teenage hero are awesome. When you tap the jump button, he hops like a kid playing hopscotch, but PRESSING the jump button causes him to throw his body up in the air high enough to make him stumble just like any other person. The animations project everything my mind wants to see, from the horse's mane of hair to the clods of dirt that fly up when the colossus slams his club into the ground. Music = perfect. I might buy this game... $40... it might be worth it.... or maybe i'll just rent it and love it.

I still have yet to beat Hulk, but Ninja Gaiden: Black will be out soon... and Everybody Loves Katamari... and Ultimate Spider man is already out.... DAMMIT THERE'S NOT ENOUGHT TIME!

Stephanie. Is. A year. Older.
HAPPYBIRTHDAYOMGBBQWTFGTFOLOLGTGBRBROFFLE